communication

In the past, I thought communication is just about telling each others' views and being able to understand and respect. But how to make the other person truly understand? How to respect when you already have your own views towards the same thing? How to come to the same conclusion when we are standing on different grounds and taking a different views? and it's not just about "differences", as "differences" implies we are holding different things, but on the same level. What if the things we are holding actually have priority, or even right and wrong? Taking either ones' views just won't work in this case.

Observing/Listening is not knowing. Knowing is not understanding. Understanding is not experiencing. Experiencing is not practicing. Putting it into practice doesn't mean wanting to do.

A cup full of water just can't take things in anymore. Adding some colour into a glass of ink just won't see the original colour we add. Humble ourselves is not denying and dispising. However, that's a delicate balance. And I have to say, sometimes I fail to do that. Seeing/knowing everything through God's eyes is like replacing our colourful glasses with transparent one. We all have our sides, our views, developed from our background and culture. So in the end, communication is not just about knowing both sides and fulfill each others' needs or expectations, but
to seek our Lord's wills, to seek what our God wants from both side.

Communication is not about me, not about you, but about God, about humbleness, about love.
What is love then?
愛是恆久忍耐, 又有恩慈.
愛是不嫉妒. 愛是不自誇,不張狂,不做害羞的事.
不求自己的益處, 不輕易發怒.
不計算人家的惡,不喜歡不義, 只喜歡真理.
凡事包容, 凡事相信, 凡事忍耐.
愛是永不止息.
We don't need to be "taught" to love, but at the same time, we are all learning how to love.
We are not perfect, neither is our love. But how blessed we are! Our God, our source of perfect love, source of strength and hope is ALWAYS there, ALWAYS faithful even when we are not faithful to Him.

No matter how hard is communication, or anything in our lives, there's nothing bigger than God; nothing is bigger than His cross----the ultimate expression of His love.

期許

好久沒來這邊走走 久違了
發生了很多事 我也就不一一在這帶過,畢竟不是每一刻都能被紀錄下來
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我知道,自己是很容易活在期許下的人
父母的期許,師長的期許,我所愛的人們的期許....不用說,我都能從中窺探其大概
也因此,養成了很會察言觀色,甚至是過於小心翼翼的習慣
期待自己在所能及的範圍內取悅身邊的每一個人.
其實,這才是肩膀上最最沉重的壓力吧!
儘管心裡知道" even God didn't please everyone",但又怎能一無反顧的無是大家期望的存在呢?
也許應該換句話來說,我怎能無視於"期待中的自己"的存在?

對自己的期許是什麼?
以基督的心為心,愛神愛人,好的品格,成為好的牧羊人,好管家,好學生,好醫師,好女兒,好姊姊,好太太好婆婆 :P
其實總的來說,期待自己成為在各個方面都能讓神微笑的孩子吧!
也許你會說,為什麼不為自己好好活就好?
也許,這就是我想為自己活的方式?
也或者,我想要的方式就是神所期待的方式?
但曾幾何時,我總是試著用自己的力量,用自己的方式,去迎合"自以為"的神的期待?
曾幾何時,不斷陷入如法力賽人的迷思---以自己的方式成為完全去取悅神,卻陷入失敗的輪迴裡跳不出來.

"我以你的本像愛你" 這是神不斷在耳邊耳語的
但就連以我的本像愛我自己都好難做到....

接受自己的不完美,遵行祢的旨意是我好想好想做到的
但現在卻好像變成,再也不知道該怎麼做. 而面對所愛的人,卻也什麼也說不出口.
希望有人能聽得到,更真正了解,而不是再加一項期許,好像也只能對神說了.

"try as we might by our appearance, performance or social status to find self-verification for a sense of being somebody, we always come short of satisfication. Whatever pinnacle of self-identity we achieve soon crumbles under the pressure of hostile rejection or criticism, introspection or guilt, fear or anxiety. We cannot do anything to qualify for the by product of being loved unconditionally and voluntarily."