Feeling alone, again.
Am I walking alone again?
A desire to be understood, esp by people I love, people I care, why is it so hard?
Why....why does the voice of judgement and misunderstanding chase me again and again?
How can you judge me even before truly understand me?
How can you judge me from the appearance when you know what kind of person I am?
Am I really disobedient, sturborn, trying to avoid, putting men above God, self-centred, selfpity, keeping making wrong decision due to my blindness in your eyes?
Lord, I know You are always always beside me.
Lord, I know You always always love me.
Lord, I know when no one in the world is with me, when no one understand, You know, You care, You love.
Lord, I don't want to be cynical, I really really don't want to be angry or dissappointed especailly at people I love so much. But I so want them to understand me, love me as a person, as a child You created....whether I'm a good person or not, I'm on fire or dry, I'm on the mountain top or the valley...I still wish they can love me as who I really am.
Lord, I'm tired...really....have been trying so hard to be exposed, trying to fit in, trying to be vunerable, trying to be understood...but why in the end, You are still the only who is beside me? Therefore, I don't wanna explain anymore....I'm tired Lord...exhausted....
Explain again and again, showing you what kind of person again and again, originally I thought you may see me...truly see me, without my explanation, without defending, without .....forgive me please, I'm just very...very...exhausted and frustrated.
Some lyrics said You are all I need. I want to say that too....but I can't deny the desire to be understood, the desire to be loved as I've given out.
At the same time, Lord, I wanna thank You for loving me. Now I know how hard it is to love unconditionally....without You, without Your love, I will just burn myself from the limited love I have.
Thank You Lord, for being with me....
When there's sunshine, You are with me.
When there's cloud, You are with me.
When there are people surrounded, You are with me.
When no one is here, You are with me.
When I'm crazy about You, You are with me.
When I don't recoginse You, You are with me.
When I'm high, when I'm down, when joyful, when there's sorrow, when flying, when running, when walking, when dragging, You are with me.
我雖行過死蔭的幽谷,卻不怕遭害,因祢與我同在.
謝謝祢, 阿爸父神.
3 則留言:
Remember I am the last person you will need to please. Last person you will need to explain your self to.
I guess all of us will feel alone sometimes especially when we're now in a different country. =)
31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:31-39
Hi Angel,
Be encouraged, it is when we go through season such as these that we really grow. We will go through season that even those closest to us may not know what we re going through. But Jesus knows!!
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